Getting Down In:

April 30, 2018

 

It takes a lot of moisturizer to fix your face after wearing a fake beard to a fashion food show. I'm wearing 17 layers. That costume-glue shit attaches itself to the skin like a lonely sip of sticky gin. Yet my stache still disappeared a few songs in. Tried hard to keep the golden soul patch on, for all the true Fieri fans, but eventually it joined the legions of empty cans at my feet.

I wish ATD could find a real plaid-wearing guitar player, not some hot-dog admissions officer playing by his own rules. There was a great disturbance among The Corps last night. One of their own was caught defecting across company lines and principals. And I don't mean the Dans or Ronnathon. The last thing I remember is the 3 of them holding Pederson back like an ostrich before a big race. Luckily he broke free, and I always bet on winning birds.

Firman didn't ask to sing the Omar outro before the set. Like a fox he gets wiser with each attack. If he asked, I would have said "Aww man…yaaa…we have a weird theme tonight and I can't mess with the story…sorry…" Instead, he slid to the front at exactly the right moment and flashed his credit card at me. Done. On stage 5 seconds later. $400. He did a damn good job as well. PS: we now have 'swipe' for all merch items and mid-song stage-joins.

For the record: My friend Tim sang my own lyrics towards me and I sang the wrong words back. Then he crowd-surfed across a landscape of fans. I am full of shame. Can't blame my struggling fame. Feels like I'm floating across a thousand lakes of saying sorry for my innocent mistakes. Thank you to Tim as usual, and thank you to the Bures for being so beautifully casual.

Whoever handed me that real donair gets a free copy of Mega Donair. I know Kieran ate it at the end, but did he also bring and present it? If so, thank you my friend. If not, thank you to the mysterious friend of food-artists everywhere. Your contribution adds to the success of future food-friendly performances.

At this point I ask that we all please nod with deep appreciation to our awesome and supportive punk rock scene. If you removed all the members of other local bands at the show, the capacity would have fallen faster than a slurpee on a sunny day. I missed 2 big local shows last night to party with my folks for their 40th anniversary. Sorry. They let me practice with various bands in their basement for almost half of their married life. I'm sure you understand, or respect at most. And I'm sure both shows were packed with hungry fans from coast to coast.

I'd keep writing, but it's Sunday night now, and all great meals must end.

Thanks for eating, and for being a friend.

-CWP

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