Hoop Dreams

March 5, 2018

At the press conference after the show one of the reporters asked me this: "Coach Col, how are you so successful in training such a high-impact basketball club?" My answer is this: "Thank you so much."

Almost threw a punch last night. Russian Tim used an innocent artist named Andrew Pederson as an attack weapon towards our new shirt sales. Simply put, he built a better shirt. It was a lesson in betrayal that Coach Col will not soon forget. I feel bad for Pederson, as Tim has dragged his good name into a long and bitter territorial dispute. There will be no mercy from me, or this organization.

Any band that has Rich Lowe in it is good. Swear Jar ripped. Great harms. We were all licking our fingers at the immediate profits of a great opening band. Then the payoff rolled through with Aanthems, also known locally as "the best brothers in punk rock." Sorry, bro. Pavel Bure's were great as always, smiling together with the excitement of an escaping speeder, too bad about their shameful Russian leader.

Second best or not, our new shirts are hot. Sold a few of the originals last night as well. Including a special signed birthday version that is now bidding at over $160 online. Classic, less-controversial, yet equally devouring. The band says I'm not allowed to trade our merch for my personal gain anymore. This is devastating news for a free-roaming monster like me.

Contra Code ended their aggressive and mathematically-perfect set at 1:37am. Fuck the skytrain. Play 3 encores next time. The bar is still open, and we are still here. Soaking in the sweaty connection of appreciation. Enjoying the painters as they paint. Playing chords, swinging swords.

Thank you to the academy for all these awards.

-CWP

 

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